Those of you who are on the journey of self-improvement, often get to hear about positivity, self-care, and mindfulness. They are important; still, they only on parts of ourselves. Beyond the positivity is a deep part of us that has been left unseen-the shadow. Shadow work is the practice of looking at this unseen side, and it can be really powerful for self-discovery, emotional healing, and personal growth.
What Is Shadow Work?
Shadow work is the methodology to bring unconscious parts of ourselves into our conscious awareness. These parts are jointly called “shadow,” the concept first developed by the famous psychologist Carl Jung. The shadow includes everything we have suppressed or denied: thoughts, feelings, desires, and memories that we have kept locked away because they feel too painful or uncomfortable to confront.
We all have a shadow. It consists of those parts of ourselves that we’re ashamed of, or that don’t serve how we want to be perceived. We might suppress feelings of anger, jealousy, insecurity, or fear. We might repress certain desires or impulses because we’re taught, that they are “bad” or unacceptable. Over time, these hidden traits form a shadow that drives our behavior, often unconsciously.
It means that we have to look within, to recognize these hidden features of ourselves, and integrate them back into our being. Through this process, we come to know who we really are, heal the wounded parts of our emotions, and free ourselves from crippling patterns of behavior that are not wanted.
Why is Shadow Work Important?
Working with one’s shadow can be a rather uncomfortable, and a rather scary endeavor. After all, it is so much easier to keep one’s thoughts centered on the positive aspects of ourselves and to avoid those things that we would truly rather not face. However, shadow work is something deeply necessary for any real personal growth and healing. Here’s why:
Self-understanding:
The shadow mediates and controls a great deal of our thinking, feeling, and doing, much of which goes on beneath the level of our noticing. Thus, to bring the shadow into the light round outs our self-understanding, enabling us better to understand why we act the ways we do and make the choices we do.
Emotional Healing:
So many of the emotions we bury in ourselves may be painful in and of themselves; when unprocessed and released, potential sources of real pain include unreleased anger, guilt, and shame. The work of shadow can allow us to confront these emotions, process them, and release their hold upon us.
Breaking Negative Patterns:
The shadow often drives very unhealthy patterns of behavior, including self-sabotage, procrastination, or toxic relationships. Bringing unconscious patterns into the light can free us from these habits and enable us to make more conscious choices.
Improved Relationships:
Generally, when we deny aspects of our own personalities, we project our unresolved issues onto others. Shadow work helps us take responsibility for our own emotions and reactions, fostering healthier, more authentic relationships.
Personality Growth:
The shadow work builds up the tendency to love or at least accept all parts of ourselves and not just those aspects that we are proud of. This integration leads to more wholeness, resilience, and inner strength. It is only by accepting and transforming our shadow that we become complete and authentic persons.
Benefits of Shadow Work
Shadow work offers a lot of other benefits other than emotional healing. When we do shadow work, some of the positive changes that would take place in our lives are:
Greater Self-Acceptance:
Shadow work helps us accept the parts that were previously rejected by us. It confers a greater inner sense of peace and contentment.
More Authentic Living:
Through the process of confronting our shadow, we are released from the compulsion to wear masks-to pretend to be something other than who we truly are. This allows us to live an even more authentic life and express ourselves more freely.
Increased Emotional Intelligence:
Shadow work helps in understanding and managing our emotions more effectively. We become more attuned to our emotional triggers and can respond with greater awareness and compassion to challenging situations.
Increased Creativity:
The shadow contains a lot of repressed desires and creative impulses. When the shadow is reconciled with the conscious, new energies are liberated and may be inspiring for creative work.
Better Borders:
Shadow work allows one to identify diseased patterns that were used in relationships and to set better borders. As we heal unresolved feelings, we become less reactive and more able to claim our needs.
How to Do Shadow Work
Working with one’s shadow is a deeply personal process, but it need not be overwhelming. You can start small and work your way up to meet the parts of yourself that are hiding. Here are some very practical steps to take in getting started with your shadow work:
Develop Self-Awareness
First and foremost, shadow work is about being more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Notice when you get triggered-when anger, jealousy, fear, or resentment arises. Many times, strong emotions are a clue that one’s shadow is at work.
When you catch yourself in a trigger, take time to ask yourself the following:
What am I really feeling beneath the surface?
Is this emotion attached to something deeper, perhaps an experience or unresolved hurt?
What underlying beliefs or fears could be fueling my reaction?
By observing your feelings and reactions, you can begin revealing the parts of yourself that you have been hiding or suppressing.
Keep a Journal for Shadow Work
Writing can be one of the most powerful vehicles for shadow work. The shadow work journal becomes a safe place in which to explore your thoughts, feelings, and even memories. Through journaling, one is able to look at their own shadow and begin to make sense of, for example, what kind of roots cause certain feelings and behaviors to emerge from within them.
Following are some journal prompts to get you going:
What qualities of others grate or disturb me? Can any of these qualities in some way be a reflection of something in myself?
Is there something that has hurt or embarrassed me long ago and still does, or makes me feel uneasy? How have I coped with it?
What feelings do I not want to experience and try to suppress and why?
Under what circumstances do I feel ashamed or insecure, and what do such feelings say about my shadow?
This allows you to begin drawing associations between your past experiences, repressed feelings, and current behaviors of yours by journaling about your thoughts and emotions on a regular basis.
If you are interested in more shadow work journal prompts, take a look at our blog post about shadow work journal prompts here.
Accept Your Feelings
In shadow work, we have to confront those feelings we have been avoiding; shame, guilt, anger, or fear. Shadow work helps us experience such feelings not put them away but fully feel them without judgment. This may be painful, though this is a very important part of the healing process.
When this tougher emotion arises, take the time to sit with it. Breathe deeply into it, and rather than reacting or trying to suppress the emotion, simply observe it. Ask yourself:
Where do I feel this emotion in my body?
What thoughts are coming up for me related to this emotion?
What does this emotion want to tell me?
By allowing space for your feelings, you let them come up and out of you instead of holding onto them. It is from such practices that the relationship with your emotions will improve with time.
Identify Your Projections
One of the ways our shadow reveals itself is through the process called projection. Projection occurs when we attribute our own unconscious thoughts or feelings to someone else. If you are insecure about your appearance, for example, you may be quite judgmental about others concerning their appearance.
To recognize projections, observe in others that tends to set you off-that is, the qualities and characteristics you find particularly upsetting or disturbing. Ask yourself:
Why does this person’s behavior disturb me so much?
Is there something in myself that I’m denying or avoiding?
How is this reaction reaching my own shadow?
By owning your projections, you take possession of your feelings and can begin to understand those parts of yourself that you have kept hidden.
Practice Self-Compassion
Working with the shadow is heavy work, and sometimes it’s easy to be hard on yourself when those are the parts of the shadow you’re working with. A little self-compassion around that, maybe remembering that everyone has a shadow, and that does not make them bad.
Whenever this feeling of overwhelm or self-criticism rises, remind yourself that shadow work is about growth, not perfection. Be gentle with yourself, and applaud every step you take-even if it seems infinitesimally small. The practice of self-compassion helps in giving life to a nurturing environment for healing and transformation.
Integrate What You Learn
The ultimate goal of shadow work is integration, allowing the hidden parts of yourself to come into the light and be accepted as a part of you. Reflect on what you’ve learned in uncovering your shadow, now applying that new awareness to life.
For instance, you may realize that you repress anger, and you can work on healthier ways to express it through journaling, talking with a trusted friend, or by assertive communication. Maybe you have found the pattern of self-sabotage; you can work on breaking that by having very clear goals and creating routines that support you in attaining those goals.
Integration means taking whatever insight one has gotten through the process of shadow work into conscious living authentically.
How Long Does Shadow Work Take?
It is a never-ending process that is shadow work. It’s not something that can be done in a week or in a year either. As you keep growing and evolving, new aspects of your shadow might come up, presenting you with further chances for growth and healing.
It is better to consider shadow work as a lifelong journey rather than a quick fix. The more you work with your shadow, the deeper the understanding of yourself will be.
If you are interested in learning more about shadow work check out our blog post about shadow work books worth reading.
Conclusion
Shadow work is a transformational, very powerful modality that allows one to confront the parts of oneself hidden, heal deep-seated wounds, and break free from crippling patterns of one’s thoughts, feelings, or behaviors. Of course, it is not very comfortable to face one’s shadow; however, the rewards of such inner work are immense. By embracing your shadow, you open up the doorway to much better awareness of yourself, emotional healing, and personal growth.
Remember, shadow work is not about purging the darker sides of yourself; it’s about owning them so you may live more in integrity.